{"id":429,"date":"2011-02-21T10:43:24","date_gmt":"2011-02-21T05:13:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bearve.net\/blog\/?p=429"},"modified":"2013-03-14T11:27:53","modified_gmt":"2013-03-14T05:57:53","slug":"my-deluding-pet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bearve.net\/blog\/poetry\/my-deluding-pet","title":{"rendered":"My deluding Pet"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

W<\/span>alking through my neighbourhood<\/p>\n

shedding my clothes – naked –<\/p>\n

is a day that will arrive sooner<\/p>\n

than walking that same path<\/p>\n

shedding my Ego<\/p>\n

Ego is most difficult to abandon<\/p>\n

It is my most intimate possession<\/p>\n

It is also my most intimate Pet<\/p>\n

\n

The adoption happened innocuously<\/p>\n

I discovered this Pet<\/p>\n

on a lonely day – or was it night?<\/p>\n

I fed it, it purred<\/p>\n

I talked to it, it listened<\/p>\n

I chastised it, it cowered<\/p>\n

But it cuddled me in it’s warm embrace<\/p>\n

on that lonely day – or was it night?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Just like a kitten<\/p>\n

it pushed my right buttons<\/p>\n

I embraced it back<\/p>\n

for I am only human<\/p>\n

I was trained to pity<\/p>\n

\n

Ego is the most deluding Pet<\/p>\n

It helped me climb insurmountable hurdles<\/p>\n

It’s adrenaline boost <\/p>\n

tided me over most of them<\/p>\n

drenching me victorious – fresh<\/p>\n

like the inaugural monsoon shower<\/p>\n

Why wouldn’t I then,<\/p>\n

consider it as my only true friend<\/p>\n

Wouldn’t you?<\/p>\n

Don’t you?<\/p>\n

\n

But this very same Ego – surreptitiously<\/p>\n

created new hurdles<\/p>\n

Some it helped overcome<\/p>\n

just like hurdles in a training course<\/p>\n

the sole purpose of their existence,<\/p>\n

to inject that feeling of victory <\/p>\n

delivering me my timely dope<\/p>\n

Leashing me with that timely dose<\/p>\n

\n

Some others, the ones that matter most<\/p>\n

are those that it masked from me<\/p>\n

Either camouflaging as too trivial<\/p>\n

or just plain impossible to climb<\/p>\n

These ones, over time<\/p>\n

grew wider, higher, stronger<\/p>\n

entrenched themselves ever deeper<\/p>\n

They surrounded me, blinding me <\/p>\n

from the sprawling freedom<\/p>\n

just laying there on the other side<\/p>\n

\n

Thus, I let it steer me<\/p>\n

Partly, blinded by the intimacy we shared<\/p>\n

but mostly <\/p>\n

afraid of loosing my timely fix<\/p>\n

\n

One day I awoke <\/p>\n

inside the fortress<\/p>\n

it had created<\/p>\n

Built to protect me – something to behold it was<\/p>\n

Shelter me, superbly it did<\/p>\n

by denying others to breach<\/p>\n

I continued to consider it<\/p>\n

my most intimate Pet<\/p>\n

\n

My Pet then seized the role<\/p>\n

as watch guard to this fortress<\/p>\n

screening admittance on it’s discretion<\/p>\n

following it’s will and whim<\/p>\n

Slyly it created<\/p>\n

an environment of transience<\/p>\n

thus transforming itself into<\/p>\n

as my only constant friend<\/p>\n

\n

It too, like all things alive<\/p>\n

needed attention and affection to thrive<\/p>\n

As I suspected it’s true intent<\/p>\n

it sensed my disenchantment<\/p>\n

And by admitting those who pampered it <\/p>\n

more that I ever permitted<\/p>\n

it sought to satisfy elsewhere<\/p>\n

this new void that it felt<\/p>\n

\n

Later I realized<\/p>\n

how vain we both are<\/p>\n

it too needed it’s timely dope<\/p>\n

for it too, by now,<\/p>\n

was hooked<\/p>\n

Just like me<\/p>\n

\n

Much later I discovered<\/p>\n

the duplicity of a fortress<\/p>\n

That which shelters<\/p>\n

also snares an unwitting prisoner<\/p>\n

Reluctant to loose my only constant<\/p>\n

I lived an incarcerated life<\/p>\n

It and I playing<\/p>\n

the very same games we played<\/p>\n

Both exhausted with the charades<\/p>\n

but afraid to chart the unknown<\/p>\n

Even the will deserting by now<\/p>\n

\n

Perhaps, it would be much later in life<\/p>\n

when all faculties have deserted<\/p>\n

that Ego too, will finally abandon me<\/p>\n

I imagine the goodbyes to be mutual<\/p>\n

Either outliving the other’s purpose<\/p>\n

Left with no other possessions to guard<\/p>\n

finally submitting to breathe in the unknown<\/p>\n

\n

The taste and vision<\/p>\n

of the world outside the fortress<\/p>\n

– one that was cleverly shielded for so long –<\/p>\n

could be overwhelming for my sheltered and withered spirit<\/p>\n

Like a twig in a deluge<\/p>\n

the exhilaration of the freedom to just flow<\/p>\n

might be the final lingering taste<\/p>\n

I carry to my cradle <\/p>\n

of infinite dreams<\/p>\n

\n

The cycle of rebirth <\/p>\n

finally succeeds <\/p>\n

in stripping me off my Ego<\/p>\n

only until when I, naively, compulsively,<\/p>\n

adopt another in the next life<\/p>\n

\n

Oh, how many lifetimes will it take<\/p>\n

for me to gain the wisdom,<\/p>\n

summon the courage<\/p>\n

to abandon this Pet…<\/p>\n

and, (sigh) finally, live a bit?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

20th February, 2010. Mumbai.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\n

\"W\"alking through my neighbourhood<\/p>\n

shedding my clothes – naked –<\/p>\n

is a day that will arrive sooner<\/p>\n

than walking that same path<\/p>\n

shedding my Ego<\/p>\n

Ego is most difficult to abandon<\/p>\n

It is my most intimate possession<\/p>\n

It is also my most intimate Pet<\/p>\n

\n

The adoption happened innocuously<\/p>\n

I discovered this Pet<\/p>\n

on a lonely day – or was it night?<\/p>\n

I fed it, it purred<\/p>\n

I talked to it, it listened<\/p>\n

I chastised it, it cowered<\/p>\n

But it cuddled me in it’s warm embrace<\/p>\n

on that lonely day – or was it night?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[90],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-429","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bearve.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/429","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bearve.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bearve.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bearve.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bearve.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=429"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.bearve.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/429\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":580,"href":"https:\/\/www.bearve.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/429\/revisions\/580"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bearve.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=429"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bearve.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=429"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bearve.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=429"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}